I’ve never been to prison.

I have known some interesting folk, I do still know some interesting folk, I’ve been very lucky in the amount of interesting folk I have known or now know. Look, here’s a list of the interesting things the interesting folk have done or are doing or have been or are.

Folk have been in the R.A.F.

Cooked for the Queen and the Red Arrows. (not at the same time)

Learnt to fly a plane.

Been in a band.

Travelled. (properly travelled, the left their jobs and buggered orf kind of travelled)

Been a P.A. to a famous person.

Started a business or two.

Been kicked out of a country. (I’m pretty sure they’re not wanted or anything)

Went to boarding school.

Been expelled from every school.

Retrained as something else.

Are arty.

Written a book.

Written a song.

Is travelling all over the world as a sound man for bands. Boy does he get about!

Is travelling all over the world with a very fast car in a very big truck to go racing other very fast cars.

Have emigrated.

Have moved to the coast. (no, I’m not jealous, I’m not, honest, oh bugger off!)

Been holiday reps. (I’ll wager they have a story or two to tell!)

Been on the tele.

Built film sets for Batman and Bond or

Been in prison.

I, however, have done none of the above yet, for reasons I cannot fathom, I have started a blog. I shall blog about my life, the life I have spent mostly within a five mile radius, the life I’ve spent not doing anything of note yet I shall note it. Why? Because starting this blog is the most daring I’ve ever been, the most daring I probably ever will be and because The Eldest thinks it’s


My children believe me to be far more interesting than all the interesting folk in the whole wide world, they think this because they are 9 and 4. One day they will discover the truth. Till then shhh, keep it between you, me and the gatepost while I make up a story about how I was once a pirate. I shall tell them how I navigated my ship, The Gutless, through stormy seas, how only I know the location of the treasure and all about the fearsome dragon, named Bob, who guards it at the top of Please Don’t Make Me Climb It Mountain. I shall be interesting, to them, if only for a short while, rather like Father Christmas only without the beard. Oh, no, I shall be just like Father Christmas.


(edited as I had forgotten someone, thankfully they were kind enough to point out this boo boo and quite right too, there’s little point in being interesting and not shouting it from the rooftops, I think, I wouldn’t know)




3 thoughts on “I’ve never been to prison.

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